Friday, December 31, 2004

The aftermath.

As you all have seen it on tv, the tsunamis are scary, but i don't think it is. The scary part, to me is the aftermath. What's death, it's all predestined, so let those who died go. However, what about those who survived this ordeal? Where are they going to stay? How are they going to live with nothing in their possession?

Ya, i still thinking of whether to go dhoby ghaut at 1pm tomorrow, see can do anything to help those people in need. I just realised my father use his company and donated $600 to some organisation helping those people affected. Quite alot rite, could be used to help me get my x700i...hahaha, but oh well, i think they need it more than i do, handphones are leisure items, not a necessity.

My cough has not gotten better at all, it still remains at where it is, abit worried liao, coughing for 2 3 weeks le. Eat the freaking medicine also not very useful, well i think i'll just leave it to time to heal it.

1 more day and the new year is here le. How time fly pass man. It's like yesterday when i went to school, secondary 4, the most senior in the school, but now it has all come to an end. My secondary school life is over, it's time to move on. I don't know if everyone feels the same, but I'm feeling so damn uncomfortable. I don't want my secondary school days to end, i didn't know i was so attached to my school and friends until the day when I graduated. The feeling is so strong. When those memories flash pass my mind, i will just laugh for no reason, but deep inside my heart really ache, i don't wanna leave them, but i know in the end i will. Such is the feeling of "tian xia wu bu shan zi yan xi", there's no banquet that never ends. Yeah people may say, "aiya sure can meet together wan wat". The thing is you won't be closed as ever, you move on, you know new friends. It's not the same anymore, it's just not the same. Yup, alot of the gang is seperated nationwide, we have most in catholic, temasek, victoria, saint andrew, etc...

Mr Lim too, I never thank you enough for your commitment towards us, you showed total faith in us, but we always seemed to disappoint you, I'm so sorry, but this 2 years have really been great with you as our form teacher. Whenever i didn't do well for my other subjects, i know i can count on mathematics, because you are the only one in the whole world which can improve the standard of our mathematical knowledge the class as a whole. Your notes says it all, and i really admire your drive and passion towards your occupation as a teacher. No matter what job i hold in the future, i will always strive towards your way of doing things, such is the impact you have on my life.

As the new year approaches, we continue our journey in life, we would be going our seperate ways, thus I wanna wish you all, namely justin darrell darren yiheng thia bear trevin julian chee lim kah woon chen ann weicong kaywee jasopn, and those whose name i never mentioned, you are included too, all the best in your future endeavours. You may forget me, but i will never forget the memories that we share, how you helped me along the way, how you mould me into what i am today. The fun and laughter, the ups and downs, i will always remember it. In this world, i couldn't carry on without friends like you. I just want you all to know, you already have a place in my heart. Thank you all, and i hope we stay as close as we used to. Brothers forever......

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

First....and maybe the last time.

Haiz, first time in my entire 16 years of life i feeling so troubled. I really don't know what's the problem, I'm thoroughly sick of everything. Ya just now called SAJC, and that bitch said unsuccessful, ya i think i already knew the answer deep down inside, but i was hoping, the smallest hope that i had left, was crushed too.

This is like crap man, the streaks of bad luck just doesn't end. I'm like freaking helpless, what can i do, what can i say, nothing will help, nothing will last. I don't know man i don't know, mentally i'm quite unstable now, I can't feel anything, happy, sad, angry, annoyed, nothing. I feel like a zombie.

I'm considering whether to go school for 3 months anot, i want to go some faraway place, i wan to contact nature, i wan their guidiance, i wan their advice. I need to cool down, i need to reflect, i need to think.

This isn't good, I don't feel good, i miss maris stella high, i miss 4B, i miss mr lim, a new phase of my life is beginning, or is this current phase the last phase of my life...?

my favourite all time song.



Yeah, today it's like boring. I went with my cousin, mh go buy his hp. First went to PS the starhub shop, after queuing for so long, voucher cannot use, alot phones out of stock, so they fed up decided to sign up for M1 instead. We proceeded to chinatown the shop, and bought mh phone, using my name, which means next time the bill would come to me. Quite clever rite, then the parents will never know how much his bill really is.

After that they went to shopping, then me and mh not really interested, so we went to orchard. Ya walking around, trying to find mh hp pouch, but couldn't find, then went to cine meet darren play pool. We played for 3 hours, bill come, $25.50, broke! Then went to heeren find hp pouch, but all closed le so went home.

Ya I'm ok now, thanx for your concern everyone. I'm just writing my feelings in the blog, yeah, it's like inside me for quite some time le. Haiz, as i was saying, it's no point studying so hard, earning so much money, living in bungalow, for wat? For wat my friend. If this is life, then i don't want this to continue man. Haiz...Yeah allright let's stop this.

I wanna wish my dear cousin, a very sweet 16 birthday. Yeah, hope all ur dreams come true. Ya and your birthday present for this year shall be elsa, enjoy ur present man.

Just now thought of alot, basically was thinking the whole day, got a lot to write, but i don't know wat to write now. Haizzzz.... i don't know what's the freaking problem with me man. I don know.....

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

what's life?

Yeah yesterday was a freaking bad day for me, ya so i'll just talk about other issues today. You saw it, i saw it, the world saw it. The power of nature should and must never be underestimated. Yes condolences to the people who saw their loved ones died in the tsunami's incident. However, we must also take note of the factors causing the rise of such tsunamis.

In my 16 years of life, i never heard of tsunami rising in Southeast Asia, so what happened yesterday? I can bet, one of the factors is us, freaking humans who are continuing to use natural resources at a damn fast rate, causing everything to change. Some more there's these small group of people, who thinks that they can surpass nature, they are more superior than nature, so you see the consequences? Dream on.

The loss of property, lives, loved ones, the pain and anguish, who caused this? Ourselves. I said just now that i want to go phuket to help those in need, and guessed what my mother told my auntie:"nowadays arh, young people don know how to think, only know how to talk nonsense."
Oh please who wants to talk cock with you. Anyway, i'm really serious about helping those people there. It's like sad to see them homeless, plus the loss of loved ones, i really hope to do something to help them, rather than sitting at home staring at tv:"aiyo, so ke lian" like what my mother always do. I rather use action than words.

Nvm about me, who cares if i die? Yeah i'm quite sick of life. Anyway dying to nature isn't that bad izzit? That brings us to another issue. Which is life itself, so what the freaking hell is life? haiz, after meditating for some time, i couldn't find an answer to the question. I sort of wished i was the one at phuket, seeing the tsunami rising above me, the power, the strength, i really hope it would embrace me. Yeah, I'm sick of everything in life here, when i grow up and earn enough money, the first thing i do is buy a desolated island, far away from singapore, faraway from mankind. Living with nature is one thing i want to do, faraway from everyone everything.
Once again, my condolence to those who lost their loved ones to tsunami, but do remember one thing:

"Death.... is the beginning of a new journey."

Carry on searching for the meaning of life and death, and you know here in this world, everyone you know would remember you and the impact you have on their lives. Go on bravely, search for the true meaning, and know something - You'll Never Walk Alone.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

. . .

Ya stayed at er jie new house yesterday. Played king arthur with my cousin until 6a.m., then i went to the room and sleep, then ya, cousin and **** in the living room hot. Then quite sian, sleep until 11a.m, then wake up, but 9 can already hear them talking and talking and talking, make until i sort of can't sleep.

Ya, after that wake up le er jie went to friend's house, then we took taxi to toa payoh central, actually wanted to play bowling, but then went to play pool first. I played 9 ball with cousin, win him 11-10, hahahaa, quite tyco actually. Last game i foxy 3rd ball hit 9th ball in.

After that went to the SPANS there, alot people then we waiting list play bowling, but then later due to unforseen circumstances, went back to cousin's place lor. Ya, so i ate 5 eggs at his house, use abit of his computer, then sit there and see cousin and **** hot lor, lying and hugging together on the bed, see liao also jealous, haiz...

After that justin call, then he poor thing alone, so we went to J8 find him. They ate KFC then we went to town lor. Guess what, went to cine, play pool again, it's like quite sian man. Ya, so play play play, 3 hours, hahaa, i no money in wallet some more, owe first.

After that all quite sian, then go home prepare for tomorrow activity. Ya, my father called and forbid me to go sentosa. Ya, sorry hor, when they wake up in the morning, they will definitely find me gone. I heck care liao, school already going to reopen, still ask me stay at home. Crazy, stay at home do what, rot arh, i had enough of rotting, ya so want to rot rot yourself.

Came back home, only talked to my auntie and cousin, ignore my father and mother, since they ignore me. Like i care, not happy then fuck off lor, yup, so peeps, see you all at sentosa tomorrow...

Saturday, December 25, 2004


Yeah, yesterday was like busy man. I went to my auntie house in the morning, sing karaoke. Tried the jacky cheung concert karaoke dvd. My mother all said his voice deproved le, but i still think he's voice is damn pro, so powderful, so nice, and the lyrics rocks too.

After that went to some factory karaoke. Hahaha, first song i sang, GAO LING FENG-ran shao ba!huo niao. hahaha, sing until i peng, or rather shout. Quite fun, then still got ppl clap clap. After that i sing justin favourite song, TRAGEDY. hahaha, the song also damn nice.

After that all go tampines mall shopping, so i went to buy some present then go play pool. It's like another super bad day, kena thrash 11-4. Haiz, it's like super bad day, but ya, i punch then we went down eat. Later from tampines take mrt back to toa payoh, really peng man, then went home bathe change then out again.

This time orchard. Took a while to find the gang, freaking telephone operator was like slacking, i don't believe they can't handle the number of people using handphones, keep on network busy, call until i damn pissed. After found them, we chill at Lido, then after that, it's time to party. We went to buy the snow thingy, then 10 person on the street cheong. Ya so if 1 person disturb us, 10 person will automatically go cheong him. It's so freaking fun man. Then christmas it's like, littering is not a crime, so many people throw those used up cans on the floor, i pity the cleaners man.

Then met some friendly and guai lan people. Got a few people keep on shout and shout, haiz, if you don't wanna get sprayed by the soap or whatever, what the fuck you come orchard for? Fuck off la, it's for people to have fun, then some people are out to spoil it. Ya, use your brain idiots!

After that cheong up any NightRider, then went to randall house slack. We talk cock until dawn, ya, bad day la, cannot sleep. Then the mother damn good, treat us to the coffeeshop there eat dim sum. At least got $20, eat until damn full. By that time quite seh liao then i take taxi home. Kevin still got work, give that sian look, hahahaa.

Ya, sorry have to shorten my entry, have to go out soon, everybody in the living room waiting for me. Yep, so merry christmas to everyone out there, and of course to each and everyone of you my friends!

Thursday, December 23, 2004


Yeah, we went to Sentosa again. It was like on the day itself we decided to go to sentosa. Around 12 plus a.m. , Justin went up the train back home, and said"Tomorrow 1030 harbour front station meet" Then i thought he talk cock, then went home confirm with him again. Then he say serious then abit stun. Quite tired still must wake up early.

Anyway, i woke up at 10, and we were supposed to be meeting at 1030. hahaha, justin quite pissed when he called me, so i cheong down. Only yiheng and justin there, so we 3 heroes cheong to sentosa ourselves. We were on the monorail for like 1 or 2 hours, then saw justin friends, then we went to sentosa first.

Ya, so we did the same old things again, volleyball, swimming, talk cock. Then i made some new friends also. Kuan jie saw alot of times le, but only know him better in sentosa. Yeah, a very nice lad, hahaa. Then justin yiheng and darren went TSed, tried to include kuan jie and me but failed. No wonder they failed in the end, hahaha. Ya, anyway I very contented liao, still ts wat man.

Then evening i lie on the sort of chair looking up at the blue sky, listening to Kitaro. The feeling was good, his music is so damn relaxing. Before that went to see sunset, saw abit cause when descending kena block by clouds.

After that bathe and went out to eat, all decided to go town after dinner, but most quite seh liao, so postponed to today, ya I'm supposed to meet justin at 230, its like going to 2 now, hahahaa... LATE LATE LATE! Monday sentosa again, sentosa rocks.

gd day gd day....but sadly its not my gd day.

Yeah man, you could guess everything from the title. Today woke up at around 11a.m., quite stun arh, sleep for 11 hours, maybe because i'm too tired. Ya, so slack around at home then around 11 plus went online, justin was about to go out for his confrontation, ya so we were like pre confrontation talk. His feelings indescribable man, O level the exams also never see him so stress before, so ya, i sort of prayed for him too, wo fuo ci bei.

Then afterwards he called me, then shout lor, ya, so i could guessed what happened le. After that went out with my cousin to toa payoh played pool. The sun was like freaking hot, after that went to dhoby ghaut play pool with justin they all, around 5 like that. Then things were like not going well man, so ya, didn't played very well, is either miss cue or i PJ.

After that we didn't want to go CO concert then walk around orchard talk cock lor. Then me and yi heng keep on suan justin, hahahaa, so damn funny, zap here zap there. Ya, then for me is like from bad to worst leh...haiz...I just realised i have not eaten my dinner, quite hungry, but lazy to cook. Later the freaking gastric strikes back then i liao, but heck liao la, who cares about the gastric man.

After we talk cock for a while then go home lor, then at mrt station very funny, yiheng tried to pull justin into train, say wat paya lebar got 165 or don know wat la. Then try to pull me also, want me go paya lebar take 28 go toa payoh central go home. What a good idea man, but in the end he was left alone, hahaaa.

Yeah, So saded, haiz, then today 12am i slept that time still dreamt of geography exam or something like that. Think i dreamt the plane crash then must retake, then i kena stun, trying to recall my facts man. Basket, O level is still haunting me. Ya, all and all, its one of those days that nothing goes right for you.

Wishing everyone merry christmas in advance first, tomorrow maybe thorning, yup, so should be not posting le. Must follow justin le, sometimes don't pantang also cannot. Should be leaving the com on ba, listen kitaro until i fall asleep.... better be a better day tomorrow.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

What the hell?

Yeah so i decided and went to SAJC to appeal today. Then sort of ask elsa bring me there, hahaa. The bus ride was ok, around half an hour to reach SAJC, should be faster than going to temasek i think. Then went in the school the general office and get the form.

Clerk"what you want.?"

me"the appeal form."

Clerk"where u posted to?"



I don't know why, but her reaction was damn big. Ya, then she sort of started to zap me over and over again. Found a pen from someone appealing too and started writing all those details. Then when asked if there was a photocopying machine around, she directed me to the PSA building, which is like 1 freaking bus stop away. Ya, so under the scorching sun, we walked over and photostat my results stuff. Then is like 1 paper 20 cents, what the fuck man, this is daylight robbery. Anyway, went back there and submit the freaking form and went to harbour front interchange for lunch. Then treat elsa eat lunch lor, which is her christmas and birthday present for life, ya so no need to get her any presents anymore, hahaa.

After that wait for her to go up 93, then i went to orchard to find my friends. Justin was with kah woon, so cheong to taka find them, imagine some gals asking kah woon for his no., oh my god, cannot make it man. Then after that went K pool play, then we saw the girl that yiheng TSed earlier in the week when we lost the 2 on 2 pool match. randall and peh joined us afterwards then a few rounds and we go le. Then anne just finished work and justin say go find her. Ya, so walk to heeren, then quite sian, decided to leave justin and anne alone, so i went to lucky plaza find bear and jun long. Then play pool AGAIN. After that went to eat dinner, walk from lucky plaza to cine just to eat burger king. Ya then went home after that.

Getting quite broke day after day, must budget too, like everyone else. Just awoken from a nap, ya going cycling soon i think.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Nothing I've ever known.

Right now I feel - just like a leaf on a breeze
Who knows where it's blowin'
Who knows where it's goin'
I find myself somewhere I - I never thought I'd be
Going round in circles
Thinking about you and me
How do I explain it when
I don't know what to say
What do I do now - so much has changed

Nothing I have ever known - has made me feel this way
Nothing I have ever seen - has made me want to stay
but here I am - ready for you
I'm turnin', I'm fallin' - I hear my home callin'
Hey - I've never felt somethin's so strong - oh no
It's like nothing I've ever known

Now you're the one I'm looking for
You're the one I need
You're the one that gives me - a reason to believe
Following a star - has lead to where you are
It feels so strong now - this can't be wrong now

Yeah. Happy birthday.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Oh fuck you.

Thanx arh thanx, you are such an idiot, yes you, the one who did the posting crap. What in the blue hell is wrong with you? I don't think i qualified for the LEP, then why did you still post me to that god damn faraway place. Tamasek ain't bad, it's just freaking far, ya, i admit, i was stupid to put that as first choice, but you need not comdemn me to that place. Hoeseng put first choice too, he got 13 raw score too, then why i got in he didn't?

This is such a freaking unlucky day, i knew it man. Since the day i was rejected, i knew that bad luck thing would continue until today, yeah and it did. Haiz, who can i blame man? Freaking idiot, i just hope i would not be stuck in that faraway place and at least go to my dream school. Hopefully, but i also think chances are low, think National Junior College so easy to go in arh, haiz...

Then my father still don't let me go Catholic, so freaking sian, ya, i dread school now. Hopefully, everything will turn out well, yeah hopefully. From now til February, there's still a long time for my luck to turn for the better.

Tears of the sun.

I watched this show on HBO, and well, it's kinda sad. Yeah, so this special operation commander is being sent with his team into the nigeria jungle to save an important doctor. Ya, so when they reached the place, the doctor refused to go unless they bring 70 people along. The commander(bruce willis) then got no choice but to "comply" to her wishes.

Therefore they escorted them to the meeting point and only she was taken aboard, the rest, was simply left behind. After flying passed the village that they came out off, they saw the village in flames, and people motionless on the floor. This scene made the commander feel sad for these civilians and they then returned to help those 70 stranded people.

In the end, the rebels in chaotic Nigeria found out and went after them. Many of the commander subordinates were killed, and a few survived. The rebels were only killed when aeroplanes came and dropped 2 missles each. It was a very emotional scene as the civilians reached the borders of another country, which i can't remember.

Ya, so except for the gun fight and violence, it was a very sad show. Firstly was the massacre of the left over civilians in the village. The rebels killed everyone in their sight, for no reasons at all, aren't they such a fucker? Haiz, they got nothing else better to do and go around disrupting peace in the country. I hope you all rot in hell bastards, and suffer the pain that nobody in this world have gone through. If i was there, i'll personally stick my handprint on your chest forever, so that it hurts until you clenched your fists til blood seen dripping. Late in the night, your body would writhe in pain as the handprint on your chest burns, which would happen everyday. I want you to suffer a fate worst than death itself, torture you until you don't even have the voice to beg. Those fuckers don't deserve to die, they deserve to be locked up and tortured, i suggest hacking off their limbs altogether, but of course, preventing him from dying.

This of course links us to hitler, osama, and of course the japanese imperial army during WWII. Such a shame that the imperial army could think of all kinds of sadistic tortures on the POWs. What is the honour in doing this? You people are just putting the samurais into shame, and fancy fighting and killing your own people, what a disgrace. Ya, i hate whoever who disrupts peace in the world. George W.Bush actions are still debatable, starting a war for no reason, but in the process ended the tyranny of Saddam Hussien.

Back to the movie, ya, the soldiers were very brave, they knew they had a high chance of dying, but still went back to save those civilians, and imagine the commander's pain, when he sees his comrades falling, one by one. The pain, the anguish of his lost would no doubt be unbearable, but this lost is temporary, because his spirit will go on, and he will be remembered forever. To all the soldiers and people who fought bravely in what they believe was right, and to make sure that the good will prevail, i desmond goh, salutes you, and will always remember your contribution to world peace.

"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph. is for good men to do nothing."
Edmund Burke

Rest assure, i won't do nothing.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004


Woke up today due to renovation from some freaking neighbours upstairs. They were drilling away happily til afternoon. Even when i got out, i still could hear them drilling.

Anyway, took 153 bus to Ikea to find thia, trevin and bear. Met darren when i was walking there, so ya we went there together. We were walking around, and the place was like damn big, and quite often we realised we walked back to the same place over and over again. Bear couldn't find the type of stuff he wants, and thia bought a computer table. Brought only $50, ya so i lend him $200.

After that we went to Oscar food mall to eat, quite a high class place, but the food that i ordered suck. It's like cold, and laid there for damn long. There's a television showing the live telecast of Singapore vs Cambodia. Then when Singapore scored i shouted quite loudly, and only i shouted. This is like damn pathetic, where's the passion singaporeans? Ya anyway, everybody stared at me, i just act blur and continue eating. We stayed there and talk cock for like 45 mins, ya just right half time.

We quite sian, so darren suggested going to orchard to meet his fren, a so called model la. He said" ok la...not bad. figure very good" We went there, saw chee lim, ya and then went to mrt station see that "model". When we saw her, i walked away and me thia trevin and bear discussed, "let's give darren a punch later". Ya can imagine how jialat it could be. After that we went cine arcade play play lor, quite boring anyway. Then ya walk to heeren to find chee lim, who just finished working, and then they went TS and the managers went home, through taxi, using arsenal manager, trevin's money.

Quite busy nowadays, kind of like miss my mother cooking, everyday eat out, not very nice. Haizz, now don't know what happen, we both talk talk talk halfway, then suddenly she become very agitated. I think it's my fault la, the words i used too crude le, ya then caused her to get pissed off. I'm so so sorry, ya next time i'll watch my words. haha, well she won't see this also, she don't know i have a blog i think. Ya, treat it as a self reflection ba...hahaa.

Still playing FM, alot of players liao, getting ready for new season, i wanna win some title!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Another day out.

Today really feeling the aftermath of the Sentosa trip. Chee Lim called and said that he put my shirt in justin house, just waiting for me to go there and collect it when playing basketball. Ya, then i tried to go back to sleep, when i found out my back was damn pain. Ya, so can't get to sleep and wake up. Thia msg then we went back to playing our fm. After a while, my com screwed up 2 times then i fed up and stop.

I had lunch, then went to justin house. It was a bloody hot afternoon, then cheong to justin house. Ya, anne and wenfeng already there, and the others, then talk cock a while then go down play bball. Then the freaking hot weather, had to borrow shirt from justin, then starting sitting on bench, back apparently still aching. Then sub trevin later then play and warm up. After that justin sort of neighbours come then we play 5 on 5. After thrashing them again and again, we decided to mix the team around. Ya, so me and justin go the other team. Although they got the upper edge, we still tried to attack and scored some points, then came the GOAL OF THE SEASON. Yup, i snatch the rebound, initially wanted to pass, but i threw too hard, so ran over and got it, went around trevin and continued sprinting. At half court darren gave chase, he expected me to stop but i increased the pace. He overtake me and before he got the ball, i turned. Then if i'm not wrong i went past another guy then proceed for the lay up. Then clash with trevin, but still manage to get that lay up in. Yeah, the whole process is like a super full court run, which got me goal of the season award.

Then after that play netball with anne and wenfeng lor, which is like wat the hell, netball is a freaking boring game. First you can't run with the ball, then it's like contact is minimal. Ya, no wonder tv seldom telecasts netball game, so boooooorrrring. Yeah, then shoot a few soccer balls and went up to slack. After that my gastric strike back, then pain for quite long. Kapo some rice from justin house. The maid and sister eating dinner, so i take some rice and eat with red chilli, kinda paiseh eat their dish. Ya, quite nice la, maybe because i didn't eat anything. Then everybody talking cock and watching news, ya, then bathe and went to chomp chomp eat. Quite expensive the food there, but we eat until cannot walk, or rather drink until cannot walk. We drank the large cup sugar cane drink, which is like around 1 litre. I still help my jin jie finish his, ya so when walking to the bus stop almost vomit. Waited and justin decided to go find anne at sengkang, its like far, so he went, ya then i took bus home.

Reach home then straight away cheong FM. Walao, it was like quite tense caused i'm supposed to qualify for europe, and i'm like 8th position, then I had to win the last game to qualify for europe. It's like what the fuck man. Got so tensed, that when i scored a goal, i quickly retreated everyone to my own half, yeah and managed to win. Then after that bear got something on, so pay day would be tomorrow.

Tomorrow should be going Ikea, shop for furnitures, hahaa. It should be a interesting sight. Anyway, going to tour around with them tomorrow, it's definitely better than stoning at home. Yup, later still got liverpool match, still thinking want to sleep anot, ya, then also maybe got bball, maybe another day, hahaa. My mother still take a $90 sort of gel to put on my face, now not that pain le, not bad, wanted to apply on my back, but she say siao, don't know why also. Haiz.............


haizzzz, i just messaged her and she replied. Yeah, feeling unhappy, haiz. Why man why? I told some of you all, she will definitely be happier if she's with me, like like like yeah, I'll make her the happiest gal on earth, haizzz, but it is not to be. She just went to sleep, how can i get myself to sleep when she's sad? haizz.....


Monday, December 13, 2004

sentosa rocks!

Today i didn't managed to wake up on time, luckily i didn't, caused everyone turned up late. Actually wanted to go Sentosa later, but justin called and said he will wait for me, so ya, pulled myself off the bed and cheong to harbour front. I met chee lim and we went harbour front together, and what did i see, only justin was sitting there. Saded, then we carry on sitting for another half an hour waiting for jin jie, darren and yiheng to come.

Darrell the group said they would be late, so we went to Sentosa first. Ya, all along was listening to my mp3 player. All the sad songs, made me think of her, but well, when we started going wild, i wasn't too sad le. We cheong to sort of a floating slide and talk cock. Then yiheng darrell all started early and went into action. They tried to TS but failed alot of times. Then we swam and ran to the volleyball court and borrowed ball from some gals to play. At that time then i realised one gal was very familiar, then realised i knew her from IRC very long ago. Yup, then got some not bad de, so alot went into action, and were successful.

We then play volleyball in the freaking scorching sun. It was like damn freaking hot. After that went to the beach and talk cock again, walk walk and see bikini babes, but sadly don't have chio wan. Then later i was buried using sand, and darrell used the dog style and spray the sand into my mouth. Bloody hell, i was there quite long, waiting for them to take pictures, then almost cramp. Ya, saw quite a few people, stone cold, jeff hardy, ahhaa, and there's a lot jelly master. It's like whoaa, jellyfish spotted in the sea, at first we still don't dare go in, lucky we never kena, or really kena stunner by the jellyfish.

We settle lunch at 7-11, ya, then play and play and play lor. I think this entry doesn't go according to the time de, ya, I'm too shag to recall what happen subsequently. Well, it was fun, very fun, but I'm like damn black now. Tomorrow still go justin house play bball, become malay liao la.

Kk, i shall end today by sleeping soon, must go and take a bathe first, didn't bring shampoo there just now, my hair damn bloody hard, like wire. A day of fun, which will continue tomorrow...

忘记你我做不到 ...

Haiz...same old usual thing again. Playing maple story the whole day, and i mean the whole day. I got sick and tired of fighting slimes and trees. Fight until i blur, but managed to level up twice, which means i'm level 15 now.

Getting bored, watched the arsenal vs chelsea match just now. Thierry Henry is actually full of crap. He uses the same trick over and over again, and well, although it's legal and counted as a goal, but then again, if he does have the skill, why do he need to use this "cheap shot". Is it because Chelsea is too good? Well, i think so, the way chelsea are playing, they are unstoppable.

Yup, playing pool with cousin and friend now, the yahoo wan. Yeah, it's like boring, and i have to wake up by 8am tomorrow, we're going sentosa and supposed to meet at harbourfront around 930am. I wonder if i'm able to wake up. Hopefully got something to do there, anot later stone again, then i must well stay at home play maple.

Haizz, yeah, I'm still thinking, although not that frequent. I have this feeling, she thinks I'm playing. hello, I'm not like justin and yi heng rite? hahahaa...just kidding brothers. Aiya, then again, I'm no player, I'm a banker. She treats it like nothing happen. Well, if she delibrately does that, then i must say she's doing a great job. Aiya, i don't know man, life suddenly becomes even more meaningless, like yeah, but well, i still have my bunch of friends rite? I wonder how i can live without them. Like yeah man, life would be meaningless+meaningless if i don't have these friends. Yeah, just wanna say, thank you for coming into my life.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Full Time Owl.

My life now revolves around Maple Story. Like yeah, sitting by my computer, except for my meals and bed time. Today went to play basketball at 430am with my cousin, then realised that I was seriously out of shape. After a few shots and I felt tired. Anyway, i was being thrashed terribly when we played 1 on 1. Playing til 630am then comes those old folks. It's not that I disrespect you all or whatever, it's just that, your freaking tone could be a little bit nicer, and the freaking court is a public place mind you. YOU DO NOT OWN IT, understand you shit? Then again, don't give excuses like "they can't concentrate on qi gong if you both keep playing." Eh fuck you bitch, if you all practises everyday, how's a little noise going to disturb your meditation or whatever shit. Just admit you all are hopeless.

Anyway, the moral values instilled in me prevented me from having a conflict with them, and yeah, we went for breakfast. Ate noodles near my house, first customers always have the most quantity i realised. Then my cousin decided to go home for his sleep, we haven't sleep til then yet. Yup, went home for a bathe, lie on the bed, and i dreamt. As usual, the same old violent dreams that i used to have. Fighting with a few people, if i remembered correctly, i was fighting John Cena! Then when i woke up, i was sweating like shit, that was one hell of a fight. That was like 530pm.

After that father straight away ask me go for dinner. Quite weird huh? First thing you wake up is to go for dinner. Yeah, then have been maplestorying until now. Now talking to Darrell on msn, yeah, he got drunk after 1 can of beer. I drank and drank, wanted to get drunk but was still fully awake. Happy times ya? I don't know if i really can cope with JC life. No doubt gonna meet new fuckers and bastards, but good friends are hard to find man. Kinda miss them after that chalet trip, yeah, i missed their screams of getting rape.

Haiz, I'm getting better today. Yeah, thanx for your concerns everyone. I'm trying not to think so much, but it still hurts whenever it comes across my mind. Yup, going to take a bathe now, and continue my maple, but not too late today. I'm going to pray tomorrow, disciple of the red guan yin, don't pray pray!

Saturday, December 11, 2004

I'm so in love with you...


Friday, December 10, 2004

Don't you just love gay parties...

I just came back from the chalet. Well, although the place was kinda small, we had lots of fun, especially those gay activities that were going on here and there. First was yi heng kissing darren, and their tongues interlock, then was darren and darrell kissing. We see until haiz...what's new? Then there's only 1 stupid room, but 9 people squeezed inside the room, just to hear me sing! hahahaha... I held music concert for the whole nights, except for the last one, caused I'm kind of tired and sad.

Some drank quite alot, and got drunk quite badly, but not to the extent of vomitting, although yi heng did vomit. The rest were just talking cock, and were finding it hard to walk in a straight line. Then the barbeque wasn't very bad too, but it was abit expensive, everybody paid $10, but still had to top up in the end.

Bowling wise, wasn't too bad, broke my all time record, taking it to 179. The real star performer was justin, hitting 216, with no open frames. Since i won lunch in the first day, lost it due to justin's 216 score on the second day, so no win no lose.

I revealed everything to her, yeah everything. She knew that i knew, deep down inside, that i don't stand a chance, i tried but like yeah, the ending suck. She said" You must know, it's not your problem, the problem is with me." Then my heart felt pain, can't describe that horrible feeling. Eyes swelled, almost cried, but there were people there, so i endured but a tear still trickled down my cheek. I'm trying to get over it, may take days, months or maybe years. I feel like asking her "if this guy doesn't exist, do i still stand a chance?" But haiz, I'll ask when i get happier. I wonder, whether she will still talk to me like a friend, or just lying there, with nothing to say. Rejections are hard to take, yeah man yeah, it totally suck. Well, I'll wait for her that answer before deciding what to do next. Damn, how unlucky could you get? "If tomorrow never comes, would she know how much i love her..." The thing is, tommorrow did come, then what should i do...

I went to sleep, hoping to wake up fresh, but the first thought that rushes to my mind is her. Isn't it sad to see the one you love walk together hand in hand with another guy? I didn't see it, i could picture it. Just found out there's lots of booze in my fridge, so if i can't get over it, then i shall use beer to lessen my sorrows.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004


So the Changi chalet wasn't a bad thing afterall. Learn quite a few tips about the art of hooking, and saw some bowling competition organised for the youth. I must admit, they are damn good, well, singled out 2 potentials, who are very consistent in their games.

Ate quite alot, the satay was good. Then clara due to unforseen circumstances didn't come. I also went to try out snooker, wasn't that difficult was it, just that i ended with a negative score. LOL.

I just chalet the next chalet that I'm going, which is today is a 4 day trip, which means i get to only come home on Saturday. I guessed most probably i will return on Thursday or Friday if it gets too boring. I don't have much clothes in my closet, so have to wait for my clothes to be wash and dried before being able to pack and proceed to Pasir Ris. I just received news that Shan Jun, our Video King, who major in "The Way Of Nature" is going to bring his collection to the chalet and share it with us. It will definitely no doubt be interesting.

Haiz, feeling quite vexed now. I don't want to go through the same thing again, but it's so uncomfortable inside me. Is this just fate, or destiny says that it's not time for me yet. Sometimes, i really get very tired, can't help but feel so desperate for one, but then again, I think what's mine will eventually be mine and life can be very unfair at times. No matter how hard you try, how much effort you put in, you will never ever get what you want. Anyway, situation isn't getting any better, I'm still struggling to find the solution. Is this going to be another disappointment for me, i guess time will reveal everything slowly...

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Onimusha 3: Demon Siege

After 3 days of playing the newly bought game Onimusha 3, i finally completed it. Well, the overall journey was ok, but the boss was kinda complicated. First i had to go to some sort of realm to fight and fight and fight, first to enhance my weapons to its maximum potential, and get the Bushimon sword.

Died quite a few times, but i never thought of giving up. After killing and slashing for a 2 hours, i finally unlocked the chest and got the Bushimon Sword. A very powerful sword indeed, kills demons, also known as genma with just a few slash. But anyway, i don't think there was much use when fighting the big boss, Nobunaga Oda. First was the human form, which is pathetic, few slash here and there, and its dead.

Then I was transported to another place to fight the second form, kinda look like some gundam machine. Since i was in the Onimusha mode, i didn't have much difficulty, and i'm also being aided by a lot of medicine and first aid kit i gathered during my previous battle. Yeah, so it wasn't particularly hard to beat.

After killing that piece of shit, then comes the ending, and credits and cast and so on... There's this special ending whereby it shows the preview of the next episode of the game. The good guy that aided Samanosuke Akechi(main actor) became the bad guy.

I like this game because its quite simple unlike Final Fantasy. Final Fantasy have grown to become to modern, and too complicated with a lot of stuff to do, and you can't complete it without a guide or walkthrough by your side.

Haiz, since i completed the game, i got nothing else to do, must reschedule my plan, I was bored playing the game, so imagining without any game to play.

Aston Villa are a bunch of losers. maybe not...

I just sort of finished watching the live telecast of EPL match, Aston Villa VS Liverpool. Liverpool scored first, quite a scrappy goal, but it's a goal nontheless, which made me jump for joy. Then Aston Villa equalise with a free kick, not the best free kick I've seen, and the foul that lead to the free kick was completely lucky.

Apparently, a Aston Villa bitch named McCann dive around the edge of the penalty box, granting them a free kick, although the referee was met with strong protests by the liverpool players, particularly Jamie Carragher, who "seemed" to have foul him. Actually, i think Liverpool goalkeeper, Christopher Kirkland should have been able to save that ball. Yes it was travelling fast, but the ball flew straight above him, and with his height, he really shouldn't have a problem keeping the ball out of the net. Anyway, i guess the wall was too near to him, thus blocking his vision. Therefore when the ball float pass the wall, that's when the GK really saw the ball coming.

Well, getting 1 point isn't too bad right? Some may feel gutted cause liverpool dominated the whole game. Now wanna wish my sister a happy 12th birthday, and yeah, my stoning hobby continues....

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Additional Mathematics.

Oh yeah, I'm doing maths. Right, you didn't see wrongly, i didn't type wrongly. I'm doing identity now. That explains it all doesn't it. The extent of my boredom.

tan x+cot x+1=cosec x( sec x + sin x)

Quite an easy sum, for all the bored people out there, here's something for you to do.


Yeah, stone and stone and stone. You can see some similarities between this entry and the previous entry. I'm doing the same old thing - rotting. Changed my blog abit this morning, included a counter(I'm bored) and a music video. I ain't really a big fan of marilyn manson, but well, i like that song and besides, i can't find another nicer song to put in.

Today, let me see, i woke up at 3p.m. Haha, I said before, i became an owl, soon I'll be waking up at 6p.m. , just time to see the sun set. I continued my Onimusha:demon siege journey. After intensive playing for 2 days, i think the end is near.

Staring at the television screen for 6 hours killing demons, then went on to play counterstrike. Haiz, during Os, i wished for this to happen, but now, i wished that the O's never ended. Well, i sorta missed studying.

To all classmates, there's a class BBQ on 8th?7th? ahh who cares, i don't even know if i'm going, but well, i would like to see them again, sort of catch up on the holidays. Haiz... A new journey is about to begin on the 1st of January. bb to Maris Stella High, but i still can't let it go. Well, what can i really let go? Move on we should, but i get grumpy whenever i think of Maris Stella High, the feeling is worst than post PSLE feeling. I guessed time would heal everything, but it can't take away our memories(please don't link this to The Forgotten, caused that show sucked).

I seriously don't want my holidays to go on like that. Haiz, but what can i do man? Nothing is the answer. I can't wait to touch another book. I want to study!

Friday, December 03, 2004

24/7 rotting at home.

Yeah, look at the title for this entry, that's how i spent the days that are to come and had passed. Currently doing nothing now, except clutching my stomach in pain. Freaking gastric is back to haunt me.

Anyway, was quite happy that Taufik won the Singapore Idol contest. Well, that sly didn't do too badly this time, his An Jing was not that pathetic anymore, but still, Taufik thoroughly deserved to win, and in my opinion, the song that made him the first Singapore Idol was I Dream. Very well done, had nothing but praises.

Listening to Kitaro now, I'm really amazed by his skills to create music out of nature. I hope more people like Kitaro will surface and appreciate nature. One that would disappear forever if it's gone.

The pain has not subsided, think i'll just try my best to ignore it. Anyway I've gone through worst scenario than the relapse now. I've just evolved into an owl fully, coming out only at night and sleeping in the day, well who cares anyway, i can do what i want. Just found a partner for the trip to Shanghai, which is not yet confirmed. I feel like going, but imagine the stuff that i need to squeeze into my luggage, and i still have to worry about the snow. 4 years ago my trip to Beijing, it wasn't too bad because everything was prepared, but I have to pack and buy everything myself, which I dread, shopping isn't really my hobby.

This few days maybe going zoo with my xiong di, wonder what's so nice about that place. Then have to prepare for the chalet on Sunday. My dear sister is celebrating her birthday in Changi Resort. Can't stand her nowadays, want branded stuff, must celebrate birthday at the place she wants, so fanciful. I don't know who's invited, but heard clara and allah would be going. I don't feel like staying there, but what can i do at home? Nothing but rot.

I can see the rest of my december holidays sitting on the sofa, lying on bed, staring into space and doing nothing. That's how i predict i will spend my holidays. This few days had been down with bad luck, hope it will change soon, posting on the 17th, and i seriously regret putting Tamasek first choice. Take 14 MRT stations just to play billiard, hey i'm not that poor. If unfortunately I'm really posted there, then i'll think the lecturers will not even recognise or know i existed. That's all for now, still rotting, and fighting the battle with my gastric.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004


My first post since O level has passed. The experience was frightening, people vying for that A1, it was like a royal rumble contest, everyone for himself. Well, it has become history now so i shalln't talk into it.

I just came back from cruise once again, on a trip to phuket and Penang. It was fun, eat and eat and eat, and of course, got to meet clara again. My mother call us the cowherd and weaver or something like that, you know, the ones that meet once every year. We don't exactly meet once every year, just that we meet on cruise annually. Penang was intensive eating, i and my cousin were eating non stop and almost reached a point everything came out. A bit of shopping, but most of it was done in Phuket. Due to time constraint, didn't have any time to take a walk on the beach...haha.

Third night was best, had almost half a bottle of red wine bought in phuket, and was talking cock most of the time, but i was sober, not that lousy. Tried to watch the sun rise for 3 times, but failed altogether. Maybe just not fated to watch sun rise with clara and my cousin. All the combinations didn't worked. Average sleeping hours was like 4 hours, causing me to yawn most of the time. The sisters were the same, allah always being the holy one, and clara still as chio as ever...hahaa.

Anyway, think i shall skip the stay over at bear's mother's house tomorrow, feeling sort of tired and going to chalet on the 7th. I decided to go shanghai on the 10th, but shall see if there's any place left.