Hmm...school's on tomorrow?!

Was complaining how could rowling make dumbledore die, then michelle showed me a website. www.dumbledoreisnotdead.com, hahaha, very interesting indeed, but i think that webmaster think too much, he analyse every sentence that rowling said, i think his GP is damn zai wan, one simple book can anaylse until like that, it sounds convincing too.

Then we were debating who the successor of voldermolt would be, i said malfoy, but she said he's useless. Then i was thinking, wouldn't it be interesting if crabbe or goyle become the next voldermolt?! HAHAHAHHAHA, that would be damn interesting. My prediction, there will be a successor in the end. I believe there's always balance in this world, yin and yang, good and the evil. They can't survive without the other. Therefore there must be a successor, then rowling showed so much deaths in her books, so i won't expect there to be a happy ending.

Anyway, i forgot what i wanted to blog about, haha, oh well, as always. Haiz, birthday on monday, how bad can it get? It's alright i guess, another 10 20 years, i'll declare my birthday a public holiday, let everyone have a rest. HAHAHAHHA what the hell, i'm going crazy. Alot of tutorials to catch up, spend whole weekend reading.

Harry potter and Snape...

I was spending the whole day reading the 6th book, determined to finish it today, which i had. Before going into that topic, today i confirmed that the maris stella teacher who passed away was once my relief teacher. Haiz, i could still remember, she walked into the class, and played us a DVD of the pianist. She was so cheerful, and quite chio i must say. And also, her performance in the band concert. Just slightly a month ago, i still saw her in maris stella chatting with students on Youth Day. Haiz, as i've said, it's always painful when you realise that particular person won't be there anymore. Heard the whole school is going to her wake, haiz... life is so fragile.

Anyway, was reading harry potter, alot of twists and turns this time round. I don't like the storyline though, why must dumbledore die, i still don't understand, and he had to be killed by Snape, what the fuck was that for? I mean how can he die, bloody hell, i hate this kinda stories. Apparently the "chosen one" was right again, but then again, when was he wrong. I guess Dumbledore's downfall is his inability to see things from a different perspectives i guess, Stubborn old guy. However, i won't be surprised if Snape would turn out to be the good guy in the next book. The relationship part of the book is amusing though, the most realistic thing that could happen in reality. Haha, nonetheless, a well written book.

I was cursing like mad at Snape when he used that whatever kadabra spell, which is why i say its a good book. Make me curse so much, well i can't wait to read the next book, Rowling, you better start writing now. hahaha. Maybe i shall read the Eragon or Everton in the meantime, and yep, waiting for the release of The Dark Chronicles too, in which i would rise to fame once again.

Been on the com for 12 hours, need some rest now i guess. Nitezz...

life...haiz.

Today was suppose to be a normal day. FM lecture was as usual, until there was an announcement, "all J1 please report to the hall at 840." We were joking about it, J2s were told to report at 940, so we thought there was a bomb in the school, and the J1s are evacuated and J2s are left to die in the school. HAHAHAHHA!

We proceed to the hall, then after hearing tone of the principal, it sounded like a national disaster, then don't know willy or garry said, "i think Lee Kuan Yew passed away..." Fortunately, it wasn't, but it was still as bad. One of our schoolmate passed away recently, just that statement. Everyone went silent, questions were racing through my mind, and it was unanswered anyway. Haiz, life is so fragile, though i don't know her personally, but it's like you'll get affected somehow. I saw alot of people crying, i don't really know what i'll do if it happened to me. It's like, how can i react, so sudden, that's life, unfair.

After that everyone's mood was somehow affected, then i heard from my friend again that back at maris stella, a teacher also passed away. Haiz, i'm not sure who is it, but i heard she stepped into my class before. Haiz, it's quite sad you know, even if you don't really know that person. You know he or she exist, but suddenly one day, you notice he or she is not around, and never will be around ever again. Haiz, but ultimately, i think the parents and loved ones would suffer the most. It's really unbearable, when someone so close to you, just passed away. My heart goes out to them...

I sincerely hope, you all would enjoy life in the nether world. It's just the beginning of another journey...

Mug...

This few days have been mugging, but its not really mugging actually. I'm just paying more attention in lectures, taking tutorials more seriously, but that's like alot of things liao, quite busy. Today had PE, played floorball, run like siao, almost kena smack in the face.

Anyway, returned back home. Stories from my father's company, this time, his worker went to bash the storeman in his client company up. I thought his worker was harsh at first, but after listening to the whole story, I was deep in thought. Apparently, the storeman scold his mother vulgarities because he refused to do something which the storeman told him to. The storeman bleed like hell, ya you deserve it bloody fucker, anyhow scold people mother, your own mother no chee bye izzit. I was quite pissed la, my father said that worker could do work, but because of the company reputation, he had no choice but to sack that worker. Haiz, i can't imagine how cruel the society is, nobody could blame him for hitting that fucking bastard, but what did he get in the end? That's why, the world is unfair. You don't have a chance to do what's right, even if you did, you need to pay for it. Now that fucker went to make a police report some more. Oh well, hope he would be fine, abit rash, but he just did what every normal person would do. I wouldn't be too kind though, just a punch, i'll make sure i cripple him.

Anyway, school, as always is boring, study lor, what else can i do. Faster get over with A levels, haiz, tired le, sleep, nitez then...

Haiz..reminds me of monday.

Today was quite a routine day, went to my godmother place, as today is Guan Yin birthday. My godmother almost couldn't recognise me, she said "kai zhai arh, zhin jia gu bo kua tio li, buay zin lu liao..." which means, god son, so long never see you, cannot recognise le. We sat for a while, then after that went home since the praying was over le.

After that stayed at home for most of the day, still sort of affected by the movie. The more i think about it, the more i think i don't belong to this era. It's like trying to seek enlightenment, i still can't figure out what life is. Especially in the modern days, where everything seemed meaningless. So what if you earn big bucks, so what if you have a happy family, so what? I don't know man, anyway, after that went to my auntie house warming party.

I thought it was suppose to be boring, but not that bad, got girls to beoh also. Hahahaha, not bad la, mai hiam buay pai. Had about more than half a bottle of wine, which explains why i'm abit meng huan at the moment. I forgot the name of the wine, it's suppose to be stronger than normal wine. In my opinion, it's a good wine generally, abit spicy, and the taste and impact is there. Not bad for a wine from Iraq i guess, the label has no english wordings. I thought it was dry, but it wasn't too bad, just a little. My father damn funny though, the food was not to my mother's liking, so she's now cooking maggie mee to eat, then my father said, "you arh, so fussy, got food there dowan to eat, now then cook mee to eat, you know how many people starving anot?" Then he carried on saying, "cook 1 packet for me also.." LOL, damn funny...

Anyway, school starts again tomorrow, no life arh, countdown to the weekends again. And so the cycle repeats itself...

When The Last Sword Is Drawn...

Haiz, was very affected after watching that movie on channel 56. I don't know why, but i think it's because i truly understand what they are going through. Many of you may call those people stupid, but nope, not to me, not at all.

This movie was sort of recalling scene, yup, so many wouldn't think its nice. It's staged at the end of the tokugama shogunate era, the shogun VS the emperors. Of course, the shoguns were using the swords, and the emperors with the fucking guns. Anyway, the main actor, Kanichiro Yoshimura, left his clan to work for shinsengumi, set up to serve and protect kyoto, who works for the shogun. Another reason was because to save his family from starvation. Thus in the movie, he got any money he could, and send it back all home to his family. Imagine, sending most of the money home, with that minimal for himself.

Meanwhile Shinsengumi was falling apart, power struggle, in the end, they lost the battle, those fucking bastards use gun, how to lose? Yoshimura didn't die, but in order to preserve his honour, he did the hara kiri. Haiz, before his death, he was thinking about his land, his wife, his children, hoping they will forgive him. Mind you, not everyone can asked and proceed with hara kiri. With the ending of his life, his good friend went into battle, hoping to die in the battlefield instead, which sadly he found it. His son, 16 yrs of age, knewing that he wouldn't come back alive, still proceed to fight in the fort.

I don't know why, there were so many scenes that i teared. His affection and love for the family, how he preserve his honour and die for his country. In the end, doing the hara kiri. Haiz, i could feel his pain, his family pain. Before he died, he said, "i would neither be going to hell, nor heaven. I would be returning to your side, every minute, every second..." I don't expect all of you to understand. My mother was also watching, and commenting on how stupid the son is to go and die. I don't blame her, she won't understand. Tell me, would any singaporeans now gladly die for their beliefs? Haiz, a true samurai indeed.

For people who hate changes like me, yeah i was blaming the fucking emperor for going through with the changes to the country. Yeah you may argue, look at Japan now, they are so advanced and very ahead of times now. So? For fuck man, at the expense of the blood and lives of their own people, you even labelled them as rebel? You say WWII stain japan, i say the killing of so many samurais stain japan. If it didn't happen, would japan be even involved.

Inventing some fucking guns when they realised they couldn't win with skills. Bloody bastards, what is wrong with simplicity...haiz.

"Far to the south is Mount Hayachine, to the west Mount Nansho, to the north Mount Iwate and Mount Himekami. Being surrounded with high mountains, no other place in this country compares to the picture-like beauty of Nanbu Morioka..."

Waiting for bus to csc...

Damn sian now, it's like only 1pm, have about another 1 and half hour to spare before going to csc. Freaking long, don't feel like studying too, maybe i shall do my tutorials. Nothing much to update also la, hahaha, did alot of quizes, Thanx to bloody NYJC, most of the quiz came out abt what depression and all those crap. "how do you find school?" I took damn long to answer that question. Which school did it meant? The real school or the one that has just a name on it.

My school, was, is and always will be maris stella high. NYJC? fuck off. My parents always say" don't like that say your school..." My same old reply, "sorry, it's not my school..." Jiahui also always ask me, "why you keep on wear white shoe to school?" My reply? "NYJC doesn't deserve to be associated with me, and therefore, it can't be associated to Addidas also. HAHA, i don't wanna spoil the reputation of Addidas.

Haizz, its quite bored la in the school library, can't do much on the computers here. Think i'll go to canteen and eat, anot later no strength bowl. Power bowling... just do it man, like what kevin said, if you don't try during training, then when? Yeah, go makan liao..

Your connection with darkness is through your
depression. Hated, sad and often feeling
lonely, there is only a few that appreciate the
real you. You tend to keep to yourself and away
from the world since you don't want to be hurt
and betrayed again. Music gives you the
understanding you need to get through, it's
your "therapy". Or you express
yourself through art or writing. Chances are
you're also an anti-social person, who only
likes being with close friends, if even that.
The world has finally showed it's true face for
you and you wish life wasn't this miserable to
live through. Maybe you'll find happiness in
the future, but right now you're just hiding
away from the world. Who needs people anyway?

What is your connection with darkness? (pics)
brought to you by

Thanx NYJC for this...

Life is all about balance. Darkness can't be
without light, and light can't be without
darkness. You see everything through different
angeles to gain perspective over situations.
You act rather rational and people can find you
stiff and/or emotionless due to this. Life is
not really that good to you, yet it's not so
bad. Like everything else, you need to balance
it in order to find peace.

How do you see life?
brought to you by

Your word is: Brooding. You are a true thinker and
often try to figure out the meaning of life,
why we are all here etc. You may not be so
social, and often think twice before acting but
those thoughts you have in your mind never stop
flowing in. Sometimes you can be so
concentrated you forget about other things that
you have to do. Don't change, this world needs
deep people.

What dark word represents you? (anime pics and 7 outcomes)
brought to you by

147: Dratini - Long considered a mythical Pokemon
until recently, when a small colony was found
living underwater.

Of the Original 150, Which Pokemon Are You?
brought to you by

You are a
protector.
Yes, you don't like to kill people. That goes
against everything you belive in. It's not that
you are a coward, but your ideals and morals
wouldn't allow it. You are the typical hero, do
the righteous things, get the bad guys and do
it all legally. But just because you don't kill
doesn't mean you can't kick ass. And that is
what you do. You use your brain and your
strenght to do honourable deeds and protect
people you know and love. If an evil guy is
going to take over the world soon, it's you who
will get involved. You hate watching innocents
suffer, and love seeing bad people getting what
they deserve. You are probably also happy and
optimistic and work pretty good in groups. And
the friends you usually make are true ones.

Main weapon: Anything at all
Quote: "You only live once, but if
you do it right, once is enough" -Joe
Lewis
Facial expression: Smile

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by

one rare day...

Every monday supposedly to have monday blues wan, but today momentarily forgot about the blues, concentrate on what time i ended school, then everything seemed better. No tutorials today, lectures all the way til 12, hahaha, then back home to slack.

After GP lecture was raining like shit, then in the end had to spend like 1 hour plus to walk the long route to avoid the rain and everything, but anyway, i got the time! hahahah, other than the early end school part, everything else sucks.

I was watching Fighter In The Wind yesterday, was a damn great movie. Have to salute Choi Baedal, one of the greatest martial artist that had ever lived. People may think it's dumb and brutal, cause he went to every places where there are experts then challenge them. Yeah these people would never ever understand. I was looking through the internet, singapore got no training centres teaching Kuk Sool Won i think, guess no qualified instructors.

Haiz, don think i'm the same old guy that i was, and i dont think i would ever again. Maybe i'm just paranoid, ya i really hope i am. Then again, did i make the wrong decision...? I don't know, i really don't...

Stupid ppl doing stupid things...

Today woke up damn early, 7 plus, then after that went to mh there to have breakfast, in the end he still asleep, then never come down for breakfast.

I was reading newpaper this morning, saw some stupid and perverse acts by some teenagers 3 years ago, and i swore i read something similiar some time back. I don't know what's wrong with teenagers nowadays, 5 girls beating and stripping one girl. Then asked a group of guys to go watch all the action. Fuck man, if you bitches got the guts you don't need to do it 5 to 1. Bloody whores, did you all just stop and think for a moment if you were the victim. The guys are darn stupid too i guess, ma de, i would wish it would be another different group of guys, then they won't just stand there and watch. Rape those 5 girls i would say, fucking bitches. I really can't believe they could do this kinda stuff. It's like totally pervertic. Got me damn angry for the whole morning. Anyway it's good the case are delayed for 3 years, now they risk going to jail, and i'm damn glad about that, fuck you understand, rot in jail you bitches.

Anyway, the weekend is passing by damn fast, and i mean very fast. Practically didn't do anything, haiz, can't believe it. I was reading some articles about dragonlance. Heard margaret weis and tracy hickman are writing a new book, and of course, the heroes of the lance are gonna appear once again. Haiz, i really admire raistlin. The question, "would you give up everything for your passion?" I don't know, a damn hard question, maybe i would, maybe i won't. If you ask me to give up everything, family, life, love, friends for magic, i guess i can, but back to the 21st century. There's no magic. What's my passion then, i really don't know.... What's there to do in this earth?

Oh ya, was reading an article the day before. I think i found the job i was looking for. Forensic accountant, revolving around numbers, i'm comfortable with that, and investigation works, like CSI, i like that too. I must go read up on that, hahahaha, now at least i have an ambition, i can answer people when they ask me what i wanna be when i grow up...

Brothers are forever...

Today actually wanted to stay at home for the whole day, but in the end kena drag out by ernest, to play pool for half an hour! what crap, anyway i was crap today, no focus whatsoever, stupid ernest, i already said i wanted to play snooker.

After that went to eat my lunch, sit there slack a while deciding what to do. Then i call my marist xiong di, all preparing to go orchard, ok lor, wear abit chapalan, but who cares, chiong down to orchard find them. Sitting at cine long john there slack, in the end decided to play bridge. Cs pia his si bei dua cards come out, although numbers very clear, take damn long to give out the cards and shuffle...-_-. His new phone quite zai, look like a bloody camera, 600 plus, price also look like a camera. Justin cs darren thia chee lim, good to see them around, it's been such a long time man.

After that justin left, apparently sending the stead go back to sengkang. Then we thought abt darren incident, take taxi to serangoon and back! LOL, pure dumb. We went to play pool la, got 2 member liao, cs and darren. However, when you are crap in the morning, you are crap the whole day. Play like shit also, stupid 8 feet table, so damn small, how you expect me to place the cue ball?! The freaking stick so lousy, how you expect me to bridge properly?! I still think toa payoh is the best.

Played awhile only, then remembered i had to back for dinner, then went home. Just woke up from my nap, don't know if i should go back to sleep anot, later i guess, my tutorials how... the weekend is too short.

Back to business...

Today was damn sleepy in the morning, due to "working" on the GPP til quite late. In the end i fell asleep in FM lecture, and you know what, i was sitting on the 2nd row. I was like sitting upright and closed my eyes fall aslp. In the end mrs tan, "desmond don't sleep". Luckily i kept calm and just open my eyes instead of jolting up.

After that was one boring PW lecture, which again i dozed off, until my gp teacher came into the lt. The teacher was quite funny though, we were talking about the EoM. Then she said something like, "what's the focus of the article? For example a person earning 600k a year, what is it implying?" LOL, NY suck, nobody sort of got her meaning, but i laugh like nobody business. Then after that everything was in the NKF context. She said things like " you can't just sue SPH as and when you like" HAHAHAHA, damn funny.

The rest of the day is slacking liao, then 2 plus end lesson, 5 plus was boring..-_-. Actually wanted to go have lunch outside with ernest, but all lazy, and since canteen is still open, we ate there lor. After that back to library slack, fell asleep while ernest don't know go where, LOL. After that 2 games of yahoo pool with chun boon and ernest, then off to bowling. We were late la, but who cares, secretary and PTI not there how can they leave?! hahahhaa.

Bowling was fun, at first was sian sian, but when you start bowling, you can't stop. Learn another technique today, the logic part is sort of figured out after a while le, left the application part. The hard part about bowling is, once u change an aspect, you have to remind yourself to change it, but at the same time remember the stuff that you must not change, the basic. So if you tell me bowling is easy, FUCK OFF. HAHAHA, was reading the talk rock blog. Sounds crude, but it's damn funny, especially to marists, go check it out, I'm gonna put it in my links too.

Anyway, go revise what i learn this week le, can't stop now. I just realised how dire the consequences is...

school...haiz

Currently i'm using the school computer, they keyboard feels weird, keep on typo error. Anyway, was trying to sleep just now, couldn't get myself to sleep, so figured out i could blog. Just now was the investiture, practically wasted 1 and a half hour of my time. Saw some tj counsillors, one waved to me, hahaha, as usual, i couldn't remember him. He then confirmed if i was in CG 30. Oh well, those good old days...

I'm having maths lessons in like 20 mins later. Damn boring la, didn't do any of his current hw yet, yeah well i'm gonna finish it by this weekend. Today was damn attentive for chem and physics lecture. I've decided, it's time to get serious and start studying. Very motivated all of a sudden, yep if i continue with this determination, I don't see why i can't get 4As.

There's physics practical after maths, faster finish faster go home. Have to do my rational graphs tutorial, kena kan for talking yesterday, in the end tmr must show the teacher. Aiya heck, i photostat the answers from my friend le, go home do then refer, i don't copy blindly.

Life goes on, but the weekends are coming. YAY!! Anyway, the NKF saga is all over the newspaper, i'm glad alot of people are feeling the same way that i do. Hahaha, but seeing so many people supporting him. Ok don't step down then, but at least reduce your wage by like...50% or more?

What else, like nothing much to blog about le, typical boring day. Yesterday quite moody, luckily got my brother entertain me. The whole day was practically smsing, hahaha, good old brother. In the end its like 50 over smses, her hp bill sure jialat, but heck, who cares? Heard she sick today, ahaha, still stay in school, thats what i call dumb...

Alot tutorials to do, alot pw stuff to do, snooker need to train. I need to rest. Haiz, you see, life is so boring... especially july period. I'm constantly reminding myself that promos are coming, it indeed is, i MUST(absolute term) continue at this pace, or i will practically die for my promos. Haiz... GP tuition, i need it badly, but go alone like no fun. Anyone interested? ahhaha...

Off to tutorial i guess...so damn hot.

Oh my...*turn one round* fuck you understand...hahaa 

looks like the 50s... 

justin and thia... 

coconut time! 

the very clean quarry...-out of bounds- 

arrival at Pulau Ubin 

This was our trip to Pulau Ubin, what makes it exciting was the bicycle trekking in the forbidden zone... 

Life indeed sucks...

I don't know what happen, but since school reopened, i keep on dread going to school, and it's really dread. I just feel like going home halfway, away from all this crap. I don't know why too, it wasn't like this before the holidays, haiz can't imagine i have to roam around that school for another 1 and a half years.

This weeks that are to come, i can predict myself going crazy over homework, pw, tutorials. I'm already trying very hard to catch up with my maths tutorials, they are endless. Then have to take into account the crap results i got for my jct, failing my bloody chemistry, 40 marks. It's quite depressing you know, when the subject you once like to study. Oh well, how can you expect me to study in a cock up place, with no pros sitting beside me, and no pro sitting in front of me, occasionally talk cock with the people behind me. Julian wei xiang and justin respectively, those were the days, they really motivated me to study. Now what's happening to me man...? Haiz...

I don't know how long i can take this, but well, life is never fair man. Damn it, anyway i was reading the newspaper today, hahahaa, Davinder Singh is good, i like him. My father's friend daughter is gonna work under him, that would be so cool. If NKF calls again, "would you like a donation card?" My reply is "Sack that CEO first, then call me back..." He's giving me the impression that the business trip flights and the tap is his rights, what the hell, Davinder Singh rocks, i like him.

Forget life man, it's alright, i can post pictures on my blog le, stay tune for interesting stuff coming up. That is what i really call life.

Persevere, that i know...

does this answer your questions?

I know just how to whisper,
And I know just how to cry;
I know just where to find the answers;
And I know just how to lie.
I know just how to fake it,
And I know just how to scheme;
I know just when to face the truth,
And then I know just when to dream.
And I know just where to touch you,
And I know just what to prove;
I know when to pull you closer,
And I know when to let you loose.
And I know the night is fading,
And I know that time’s gonna fly;
And I’m never gonna tell you everythingI’ve got to tell you,
But I know I’ve got to give it a try
.And I know the roads to riches,
And I know the ways to fame;
I know all the rules
And then I know how to break ’em
And I always know the name of the game.

But I don’t know how to leave you,
And I’ll never let you fall;
And I don’t know how you do it,
Making love out of nothing at all
(making love)
Out of nothing at all,
(making love)
Out of nothing at all,
(making love)
Out of nothing at all,
(making love)
Out of nothing at all,
(making love)
Out of nothing at all
(making love)
Out of nothing at all.

Every time I see you all the rays of the sun
Are streaming through the waves in your hair;
And every star in the sky is taking aim
At your eyes like a spotlight,
The beating of my heart is a drum, and it’s los
tAnd it’s looking for a rhythm like you.Y
ou can take the darkness from the pit of the night
And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright.
I’ve got to follow it, ’cause everything I know, well it’s nothing till I give it to you.
I can make the run or stumble,
I can make the final block;
And I can make every tackle, at the sound of the whistle,
I can make all the stadiums rock.I
can make tonight forever,
Or I can make it disappear by the dawn;
And I can make you every promise that has ever been made,
And I can make all your demons be gone.


But I’m never gonna make it without you,
Do you really want to see me crawl?
And I’m never gonna make it like you do,
Making love out of nothing at all...

testing 1 2 3

DEAD or DEAF?

As you can see, I'm either getting DEAD or DEAF. Basically today is damn demoralising, got back my physics first lecture. Walao, i thought kena the curse from my brother, really 49 marks. In the end, luckily it's over 90, i didn't fail! However it still sucks la, ranking is like 191 over 515, NY get this type of shit ranking can jolly well go bang wall and die man.
Grade:D

After that chem lecture, but surprisingly no papers were given back, guess have to wait til next week. Then slack for most of the day, until maths period, got back both my maths paper. Haiz the demoralising part, got 82 for maths 9233, crap results in my opinion. Too many careless mistakes in my opinion, haiz, not the force i once was. Then got back Fmaths, haiz pathetic 47 marks, and after that i found out that i could have easily gotten that 3 marks to get a 50. I totally suck man.
Grade: E and A

There, the stage has been set, left a D or a F, to complete the word. Hahaha, was quite depressed the whole day, can't imagine i got this type of crap results, but who to blame. I never really study, have to start mugging already, as soon as tomorrow, yeahh. I was listening to the next big thing songs, hahahaa, so so cute, but very different. My whole house should be awake by now...hahahaha, no la kidding.

WOO HOO!!

Gerrard has stated that he would be staying!!! Oh my god, i was thinking this whole day how could he leave us, in the end he's not!! The feeling of being betrayed by the person i adored was bad, but in the end!!!! OH MY GOD, I'M SO HAPPY!!!!

A sign from heaven...?

Depressed...

I am very sad and depressed right now. Why stevie? Why did you choose to leave, you have broken my heart... I never had imagine this day has come.

The NKF show...

I watched abit of the NKF fund raising for cancer patients, but seriously i don't know what the NKF are thinking, in charge of kidney now wants to help cancer patients too. Oh well, i just hope all the patients get the money they need, any organisation is all right. I only watched abit of the show, but it was enough already. Looking at those patients, i feel real sad for them, that's why i always get damn emotional, to the extent of crying.

I could feel their pain, i was once, an indirect victim of cancer. Guess not much people know, in fact i don't remember telling anyone that my mother contracted cancer when i was in sec 3 or sec 4. I must say my acting skills were good, pretend that everything was fine in school, thus nobody found out if i'm not wrong. Anyway, that time was under a lot of stress, when i heard the news i looked like i didn't care, i made it seemed like nothing was wrong, it was just cancer. At night, haha, it was a different issue. That's why you see, i'm damn good at concealing my emtions. Nobody know how hard i cried, nobody know how scared i was of losing my mum, nobody knew anything! Well, i guess you all know now...

Fortunately, the tumour was just a small one, and it was removed during the operation. UNFORTUNATELY, that fucking shit could still generate itself, i don't know how the fuck they do it, but yeah, they just can create a tumour out again, which explains my mother occasional visits to the hospitals. Everything has been fine so far, but who knows, who knows when it'll come back. I've always think of alot of things before my sleep, and i can't help thinking of losing my mum. You all may portray me as a happy go lucky guy, take things as they come, but i definitely never will be able to accept the loss of my loved ones. I just couldn't take it, even when it was a dream of any of my family members dying, i would wake up crying, sweating all over the place.

My mother always asked if what would i do if she's gone. I'll pretend to be doing other things, and not listening to what she said, but everytime she asked, my heart ache. Cause one day, she WILL be gone, and i'll have to live with it. That's how fucked up life is, that's how harsh reality is, it is that unpredictable. It may seem like i'm closer to my mother, but i love my father all the same. All the little things he do, i really am very grateful. I just wished i could tell that to him, but i don't know why, maybe that's the way i am, a person who keeps everything to himself, which is not good at all.

Therefore people, cherish your loved ones, don't ever let there be a time when you'll regret that you didn't say this or that. If tomorrow never comes, would she or they, know how much you loved them? The same goes out to you my friends, i sometimes am abit of a fucker, but know that i care for you, i really do...

I wonder sometimes" if i ever die, would there be any impact on you all...? hmm...."

I've gotten the fear over black...

You may all think the bloody racist is back talking about those racist jokes, but no, of course not, how can i say it here, this is a public blog man, don't wanna kena sued. Anyway, i was talking about my snooker skills. Yeah, went to play snooker with mh just now, around 830 like that.

The game went on the way, first game was crap, i actually lost to mh, but to be fair, there wasn't any easy pot for me to start with, confidence was abit down. I never lost faith, went to the 2nd game. Finally my feeling was back, the doubles were getting in, then 3rd game was by far the best game in my life. Had about 4 to 5 red black combination, with a 14 points break. Lousy, but broke my record liao, why should i be sad. Every shot was damn confident, therefore i could pot any balls. Then the streak went on to the 4th and 5th game, in the end won mh by 4-1.

That was about 2 and a half hour liao, was damn high la, i finally got rid of the black ball phobia. After that played pool lor, so boring. Had to play with elsa, though she improved, how could she beat us both? In the end played with her using my left hand, and i still win. Now time to train my left hand, have to be ready for all kinds of shot.

So so happy with my form, i hope this carries on. Yeah, mh is here to stay, guess we'll be drinking wine and doing maths at the same time...

Can colours say so much?

You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realization of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.
You are very talented, imaginative and sensitive but you are holding back as you do not really like going it 'on your own'. In preference you would like to team up with someone, someone with similar attributes as your own, to explore - to seek out and go perhaps 'where no other man has gone before'. It is the unusual that attracts you and which will give you a sense of excitement and adventure.
The way things are, you feel that you are stuck in a rut and there is not much you can do about it. You feel frustrated and inhibited but if you can find a way to let yourself go, you may find that things aren't quite so bad as perhaps you thought they were. One consolation is that since you are an extremely emotional individual, with the right person you may be able to release some of that frustration and tension with some mutual tender loving care.
You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.
You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

I think i'll stick to dreams....haha

Post jct era...

The jcts are over, i should be happy aint i? Haiz... well i don't think so. The fmaths paper was difficult, but not to the extent that i couldn't write out or think of anything, so i guess it shld be relatively easy compared to other schs' paper. Anyway, i have taken a step forward in bowling, the Index Finger Theorem is quite useful i guess, gaining confidence slowly.

I went to watch Initial D the day before, the show was very nice, especially the ending, perfect, for him i guess. Anyway, that show left a very big impact, i was daydreaming being 22 years old and gotten my license, then go and buy those cars, and drift til cannot drift anymore. The show is quite popular i guess. The most "in" phrase now is "i believe in god, but god once was also human, he only did things that a normal human could not do, that's why he's god." Hahahha, something like that, now in the streets you can almost practically hear everyone talking about that phrase. Edison shuai? I don't know, apparently not to me.

That thurs night i slept very early, around 9pm, then when i woke up, it was 6 plus in the morning already. Then i went back to maris stella for the youth day. All the memories, haiz, it's good to have such memory, but it's kinda sad when you're reminded that these times would NEVER EVER happen in your life again. Met up with my teachers, talked about alot of stuff, Mr lim has a temporary form class now, 1D. I really envy them, how i wish i could go through the 4 years all over again. This confirms that NYJC suck, which i have been emphasizing for countless times. I told all the marists i know, anywhere is good, NY is a no no, definitely regret.

Something got me even more pissed with NY. Because of some so called pros not interested in the bowling team anymore, they decided to cut cost by reducing training sessions. I can't imagine she was so slutty to this extent. So what are we? Crap? Fuck you understand, you can't even speak chinese, and for goodness sake, stop speaking english too. A total disgrace to the universal language.

Then was quite pissed with everything this 2 days liao, except for my bowling form, then my parents have to come and further nag at me. I went over to shaun house stayover and they made a fuss out of it. Hello...exams are just over, u expect me to stay at home and study right after exams? Oh please, they are getting ridiculous, i thought i had the freedom i was craving for since sec 2 or sec 3, well i guess not. And what's their problem with the opposite sex? Girls staying over at guy's place doesn't mean something must happen rite? They should just smell the 21st century, can't imagine what their bloody mind is thinking.

Haiz...post jct, not what i expected at all. Oh well, nvm, tomorrow will be a better day, i hope? In the meantime, party everyone. Cause it's time to study when ur results are out!